Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Unnecessary foul..

Here we are..31 weeks pregnant. Not a lot has changed really. Symptoms are still the same: heartburn from hades, random headaches.. The only real changes are constant back pain, uncomfortable lack of sleep, & the fact that my tummy has popped and is noticeable to society now. They don't prepare you for this kind of stuff..

Once my stomach became a definite "pregnant belly" people feel the need to make remarks. I loved the attention at first because it was "Oh, when are you due?" or "Are you having a boy or a girl?" Those questions I don't mind and still enjoy. The ones I DON'T care for, and I was not prepared for in the least are the remarks such as, "WHOA! YOU'RE HUGE!" and "Man! You've gotten big!!" Now I know if it were me, I would NEVER say this to a woman, and I don't understand where in their right mind they feel that this is a suitable statement to say to a pregnant woman. Yes, I am aware my stomach has grown, because THERE IS A CHILD GROWING BY THE MINUTE IN THERE! Thank you captain obvious. On the other hand, it's not the fact that they make remarks about my stomach, it's the adjectives used to describe it. With my hormones and lowwww self-esteem it's hard enough as it is to feel beautiful while my body is being taken over and stretched and expanded. I really don't need help from those I come in contact with. Craziest part: if a guy were to say it, it wouldn't phase me.. It's when other women say it to me. I'll try to blame it on the hormones, but deep down I know it's me being a weirdo. I need encouragement and kind words from the ladies around me, and it's obvious that's a far-fetched request. All well, life does go on.

On a lighter note, my little princess has grown so much! She is a mover, and keeps me smiling already. She loves to move during the day which is convenient for me, seeing that I'm home all day doing nothing.

We got to see her in 4D last week, and the little toot slept during the whole thing! We did find out that she has my long toes, my big lips, her daddy's cheeks, and she likes to suck her thumb and chill with her foot up by her head. It makes me even more excited to see her. To be able to really distinguish all her features and see the beautiful baby we created outside of my tummy.

We had our first baby shower this past Sunday for family and church family, and it was a huge success! I'm still overwhelmed by all the love & support shown by those dearest us. We got so much stuff for Kendalyn, and I feel so blessed. Kendalyn is coming into a great support system and family, which makes me smile at the thought. Thanks to all our family and friends, we have everything we need except for some of the basics, which we can manage to get if we don't get them at the next two showers. It's a huge relief to know that we have most of the things we need to bring her into this world. It was so fun to open all the presents and see all the goodies, and even more fun to put them in the nursery!!! Ahhhh! :)

It's crazy to think that in 9 weeks OR LESS our baby girl will be in our arms! This has gone by so fast, and at this point I just pray I'm prepared to be the best mommy to her that I can be. Even though I know there isn't a whole lot of preparation you can do. So here's to learning from mistakes, growing stronger in the midst of sleepless nights, tiny yet mighty cries, and confusion as to how to fix the problem at hand, and loving this little being with every part of my heart. I know I won't have all the answers and will find myself frustrated and lost, but I do know I am capable of love, and after all that is a greatest thing I could ever offer her.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Valentines.. ohh la la

Yesterday Kyle and I had our first pregnant Valentine's Day.

It was wonderful. He brought me lunch of my choice, which was Long John Silvers. It was artery-cloggin' good! lol Then we went out to eat at Red Lobster for supper last night. I must say, I appreciate food a lot more now than I ever have. IT WAS DELICIOUS! Thank goodness I had a good appetite last night because I ate more than I normally do. I figured what the hay, it's valentine's day! ;) We had to wait 45 minutes to be seated and had to go wait outside because of the lack of indoor seating. So my preggo self happily plopped on the ground and waited anxiously. Kyle told me that right now my stomach does the thinking, and that Buffet City across the street was empty. But once ya even mention Red Lobster to me, there is no turning back. Kyle's such a trooper to put up with me, even when it's time-consuming. But it was worth the wait!

After we ate he had planned to take me to see "The Vow" which surprise surprise was sold out. So we went shopping for Kendalyn instead. Old Navy has the cutest baby stuff for reasonable prices so we went there. Kyle picked out a dress that he loved, and found some matching pink jellies. We also got her first pair of denim shorts that are so adorable! So Kyle picked out a pink and white striped onesie to go with them and the shoes. I love buying things for our girl, and I love it even more when Kyle is in on it and picks things out for her. It's so much more special.

We finished the night off with an ICEE- my favorite and went home, got in pj's, and watched his tv shows in bed. It was a simple night, but I count it as one of my favorites!! It was perfect for us.

Oh and to top it off-- Miss Priss was moving SO MUCH last night. My stomach was going crazy. It was like the cherry on top. I'm one blessed gal.

Read this and thought it was hilarious:
"Our baby is gift enough for me. Just kidding, bring chocolate home or die!"


Kyle
did not get me chocolate, but he did get me seafood, which in my world stomps chocolate any day... so he's off the hook! ;)

So distracted by the rose, didn't expect the thorn.

Here we are- 25 weeks pregnant. Today actually marks 100 days until our due date, which is exciting. Nothing symptom-wise has really changed. I have heartburn on an hourly basis it seems, and it's the most excruciating pain I've felt. It makes me cringe at the thought of labor pain. But then again when you're in labor, you can focus on the fact that your precious baby is about to make her appearance into the world and make the pain seem more worthwhile. I try to tell myself this heartburn is for my baby, and trust me I'm willing to take any pain necessary for her, but it doesn't make me hurt or cry less because either way it's painful.

So I'm 6 months, 1 week, and 5 days pregnant and I've gained 1o lbs according to the stupid clinic scale. At home I've gained about 8, but something about the scale at the dr that doesn't help a woman's self-esteem. However, either way, I am proud of my slow weight gain. I'm terrified it's all going to bite me in the butt these last 4 months and pile on like a flood. It's looking like I'm not going to stay within my 15-20 range since they say you gain a lb a week from here on out, but that's okay. Just means my bootey will be at the gym once I get the swing of the whole "new mom, no sleep" thing. lol

Sunday night was an awful night. We were getting ready for bed and I was doing my usual emptying of the bladder before sleep. Being the worrysome person I am I watch the toilet paper for spotting. Especially after my spotting episode a while back. Well after I went, I noticed it had a red tint to it. As I wiped, it was more and more and redder and redder. It was terrifying. I thought it was over at that point because they always tell you brown blood means old, red is bad. I didn't want to go through the whole ER process again, so we called my clinic to get a hold of an on-call doctor. Blessing that my actual doctor was on call. So told him what was going on, and luckily he didn't seem concerned, which calmed me down. He said to monitor the bleeding and call back if: 1) it was heavier and soaked through a whole pad 2) my cramping got really bad 3) I started to run a fever. The bleeding wasn't heavy enough for that so that eased my mind and heart. Kyle and I stayed awake until we felt her kick, and that little wiggle worm didn't let us down.

I've never been more grateful for her little dances and squirms.

Well it's Wednesday, and the bleeding has stopped. THANK YOU JESUS! I'm continuing to stay off my feet as much as possible to be on the safe side. I know God has this precious miracle in His hands and He is guiding me through this pregnancy with a peace that I know only He can provide. I'm thankful for His constant comfort and reassurance because without it I would be a total wreck.

I've slept better in these past few days than I have throughout the whole pregnancy. It has been very nice. I've also been woken up to my little dancer kicking around in the morning. Honestly, there's no better way to be awoken.

I've discovered I'm already so in love with this precious baby girl that I have yet to meet, and I can't even imagine the amount of love that will come when she is actually here in my arms.

It's a beautiful thing. :)

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Worrying won't solve anything, so why am I doing it?

Finding out that I have was it called "uterus didelphys" never bothered me. I found out at my first prenatal appointment, and to me it showed that I was an original. The doctor was very positive about it, and made it seem as though it posed no risk on my pregnancy or delivery. He did say I will have to be monitored closely as I get further along to watch the growth of the baby and make sure she has enough room. It is nothing that should affect my pregnancy, but can result in possible pre-term labor and baby in the breech position, which I have take as a necessary c-section in that case. Like I said it never bothered me before. I haven't worried or had any fear of the situation..I didn't even google it. That in itself says a lot because I have a habit of googling symptoms and diagnosing myself with the worst because of people who aren't even doctors or in the medical field, but people like me who are ignorant and really don't know what they're talking about but enjoy scaring the tar out of people looking for answers.

Well now I'm almost 24 weeks..

..and I'm scared. It hit me like a flood, out of nowhere. I'm not scared about a c-section because I'm willing to do whatever for my little girl, and will gladly wear a scar on my stomach if that brings her to me safely. I'm more scared about the pre-term part. I've heard of girls having to go on bed rest at 30 weeks because of their uterus getting exciting and starting the labor process. Now that I'll be 24 weeks tomorrow, it feels more real and close. I know I'm worrying about what isn't even here yet, and I wish I could stop because it's not helping anything. I'm really trying to rely on the truth that God is in control and He has this baby and myself in His hands. This is not in my hands, so I just need to surrender it all.

I look at this opportunity as such a huge blessing because the majority of women with this are infertile, have multiple miscarriages, etc. It did take us about 5-6 months to get pregnant but that isn't considered a long time when trying to conceive in comparison to others dealing with infertility issues. And I have had no complications with this pregnancy, and I thank God every day for my miracle and success this far. I'm just believing that I will be a testimony of God's goodness and grace and will make it through this pregnancy and delivery with the end result of a healthy full-term baby despite what others say. I like the idea of breaking the odds. Our world is surrounded by so much negativity, and it would be nice to be able to be a light in the middle of the dark of this situation.

GOD, I trust You and I cast every worry and fear at Your feet.

"He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection." Psalm 91:2-4

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Beauty in the making

Symptoms of this pregnancy have pretty much plateaued since the last post. Typical weekly headache/migraines, heartburn like I've never experienced in my LIFE, and mood swings that keep me wondering if I'm still the same Krista I was 5 months ago. Overall, I'm really enjoying being pregnant.

I haven't been gaining a lot of weight (thank you Jesus!), and I'm terrified it is going to start coming soon. I would love to make it through the pregnancy, and not gain very much on top of the baby weight so that it's not as difficult to lose it after the baby gets here. I know that's wishful thinking, but the dreamer in me thinks "well I've made it half way and only gained 5-6 lbs, so surely I keep it up the other half!" We will see. My belly isn't very big, but my little one is chunking up, which is exciting! I'm assuming that in these next few weeks my tummy will begin to look more pregnant. *fingers & toes crossed*

The baby is a little kung-fu fighter! I can feel movement all throughout the day! It is the most amazing feeling ever! There is so much reassurance in the little punches, kicks, and rolls because I know that my precious baby is developing and growing in there. Now that I can feel it, I actually feel pregnant. Woohoo.

On Wednesday, January 11th we found out the gender of our little boo:

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kyle's first response was "What percent sure are you?" She told him that she can't say 100%, but she would say 98%. Eeeeeek! SO EXCITING!

We had a gender reveal Friday night, and let me tell you it was the longest 2 days of my life! It was so hard not to say anything! I'm just glad it's over and everyone knows!

Our sweet Kendalyn Brooke Little. It's so much more real now that we can call her by name, and can start buying cutesy pink things. I want her to have a tutu and bow in every color. ;) My mom said she is the baby whisperer, and that she knew it was a girl from the start. She was right..I won't say she's the baby whisperer, but she was right. She said that I'm the kinda girl that needs a girl. I must agree, and so excited that our first baby is a girl!

I just know Kyle is going to be the best daddy ever. After our ultrasound, Kyle was telling me that he couldn't help but think about their last dance, referring to her wedding. Now that's sweet. I'm happy that her wedding day is far away honestly. I'm most eager to see our little princess..will she have kyle's hair? my eyes? Will she come out big like daddy? or small like me? I'm so ready to meet this little angel that I'm already so in love with.



Thursday, December 22, 2011

Tires, heartburn, and impatience..

Pregnancy has been showing itself in full force.

I now have a "tire" positioned around my waist that I hope will soon begin to round out into a pregnant belly. This whole look I have going which makes me appear as though I'm in need of losing a few 20 lbs and doing some serious crunches is NOT helping my hormonal, lack of a self-esteem. Everything on my left side is growing. I'm assuming it's because baby is positioned on that side. (If not, I'm going to continue persuading myself of this) Needless to say, I don't have the luxury of walking around with a "glow" that makes everyone stop in their tracks and stare in jealousy of my beautiful pregnant self. Wishful thinking.

Perk: I have a beautiful baby inside of me that is forming so perfectly and that in itself is worth my self esteem and body being taken over without my input. Not to say that I won't cry in 10 minutes about being fat and ugly, but at least after each emo breakdown I know that it is all for the baby. Pregnancy is a sacrifice, without a doubt in many ways, but one that I would be willing to make time and time again.

At week 16, I started feeling the baby kick or flutter, whatever you wanna call it, and let me tell you..I LOVE IT. The 1st 14-15ish weeks I didn't feel "pregnant" other than the sickness. Now that I am feeling my baby move, it just gives a peace of mind that he or she is really in there. WOW. I can't wait until they get stronger, Kyle can feel them, and we can see him or her actually moving across my stomach.

At week 16, I was still experiencing the sickness. It is looking like I will be one of those who is sick throughout, but praying it's just taking a little longer to go away but that relief is on the horizon. I was so sick. Couldn't keep any medicine down, vomiting every 20 minutes, a headache from down yonder that kept me in tears, the list goes on. It was awful. I never knew the migraines that accompanied pregnancy. Wheeeeew weeee! Not fun.

This past week, week 17, I have felt a lot better. I got medicine for my migraines which work within 30 minutes. THANK YOU JESUS! I'm hoping the headaches where what were causing the vomiting, because I haven't gotten sick since. The only thing I'm dealing with is an over-active bladder, not that I'm surprised. Well that an heartburn. Lord, do I have some ridiculous heartburn!! Hopefully that fulfills it's truth with the old saying that heartburn equals lots of hair! Oh how I'd love to have a baby with a head FULL of hair. A bald baby will be just lovely too. ;)

We've spent the last week in Mississippi with Kyle's family. So it was definitely nice not being sick. It was also a great way to get my mind off of thinking about baby stuff 24/7 and enjoying company, watching movies, playing games, etc instead. I'm not looking forward to the ride home. The idea of being stuck in a car is not exciting. :/

I still have to wait 3 weeks until we find out the gender. The anticipation is driving me CRAZY. I'm so ready to be able to put a name to this angel in my belly. I just hope I can be creative enough to pull of the gender reveal party successfully. Even though the fact of the matter is, they won't care as much about the party as they will about whether we are having a boy or girl.

Definitely exciting times are ahead. Now if only I could just fast-forward jusssssst a little..

Friday, December 2, 2011

Weeks 14 & 15

15 weeks today! YAY!

How I'm feeling: I can say in these past few days I have felt great! I've been in an especially good mood. The only symptoms I've been dealing with from week 14 until now are headaches and cramping. When my headaches come it is nothing like I've ever experienced before. They are NOTHING like pre-pregnancy headaches. It feels like my head and neck are being hit continuously with a hammer times 9 thousand. My cramps feel like my insides are stretching from one pelvis to the other. I'm reminding myself that all the stretching is my body's way of preparing itself for the little, rapid-growing baby that is in there. In that case, all of these discomforts are worth it. :)

I lack the patience I need! I still have 5 weeks to go until I find out whether my little boo is a BOY or a GIRL! The waiting game is driving me craaaaazy! It feels like the days and weeks are going by so slow! Plus, it doesn't help that I'm at home all day with nothing to take my mind off of it. I'm so curious to see! Everyone around, for the most part, says GIRL. I will be equally thrilled either way, I just wanna know NOW! I wish I could beg my Dr. to get out the ultrasound machine and check at my next appointment instead of making me wait til 20! A girl can dream..

I haven't felt any real flutters yet, but I'm hopeful that they will come soon. My mom just bought us a heart doppler, so hopefully we can get that working soon and be able to hear the heartbeat whenever we want. :)

Milestones of the week:
  • I had my first instinct/feeling that "it" is a boy. I'm not counting on it because I'm not dead-set on it. I really don't know!?! All the silly wives tales things point toward girl.
  • I graduate from college next Saturday, Dec 10th. That's an accomplishment! I will be the first in my family to graduate from college.